I want to gain life. I want more mobility. I want to fit into the clothes that once were loose on me, but now I can’t do up. I want to not have to stumble and strain with my first few steps after sitting too long because my legs are cramped and stiff. I want to feel feminine, but I also want to feel strong. I want to feel like I have enough energy and strength to handle any challenge that comes my way, physical or mental.
I don’t want to count calories.
I want to enjoy the food I eat, and know that the food is nourishing my body. I want to enjoy the taste as well as the feeling of satiation it gives me. I want to feel energized after a meal instead of bloated and uncomfortable. I want to feel like every bite I take is another bite toward good health.
I don’t want to work out.
I want to move my body because it feels good. I want my face to flush and my skin to sweat because I pushed my body to the limits. I want to experience that euphoric feeling of blood coursing through my veins, and my muscles feeling challenged. I want my head to clear of all the negative thoughts and stresses of my every day life. I want my mind to stay sharp because it constantly gets enough blood flow and oxygen.
I don’t want to follow someone else’s plan. Despite all the information out there, all the expert advice, and all the people telling me what I’m supposed to do and what I’m not supposed to do, I want to trust myself. I want to trust that I will treat my body in ways that it needs to be treated. I want to heal myself, and nourish myself, and care of myself. I’m a smart women, but sometimes I forget that.
Losing is negative. Counting is tedious. Work is hard. Plans are boring.
I don’t want any of those. I want positive, fun, challenging, spontaneous, LIFE!
I've spent years and years following diet plans, and "expert advice" about weight loss. I've followed workout regimens, and counted calories. I've printed out meal plans and followed advice about what to buy or what not to buy. In essence, I've spent most of my life convinced that I don't have a clue about how to take care of myself, and that I need other people to help me by telling me what to do. Oddly enough, in losing trust in myself, I've managed to get bigger and less happy along the way. I'm now at an all-time high in terms of weight.
It's been a long process, but I think I've finally learned that it's never really been about any of that. It's not even about weight loss. It's about self-care. Not self-deprivation, not self-mutilation, not self-condemnation. It's about really, truly, caring for myself spiritually, physically and mentally.
I'm ready to start taking care of myself in the ways that make sense to me. Feel free to join me.
Take Care Now,